I’m calling out to all you kids that have divorced parents that live in different cities on this one..
My parents divorced when I was in the third grade and it was rough. They fought, screamed at each other, went to court, etc. but that’s not the story. The story really begins when my mom got remarried the second time after she divorced my father and decided to move about an hour away. I have nothing against my mother or the man she married, I love them both dearly, I just didn’t want to move. I had reasons to stay where we had lived for the past 11 years because I had goals to achieve. So towards the end of freshman year, I decided to move in with my father and my younger sister decided to stay with our mother.
Yes, the separation was slightly difficult but we saw one another on weekends when I would go to mother’s or she would come to father’s, but throughout the week we only had texting to keep us connected. We made it work for the next 3 years as I made my way through high school. I played the flute in marching band and the bassoon in our schools top concert band, and I was well on my way to becoming drum major my senior year. Of course I tried out every year to show that I was interested in the position and to show my determination. Finally, when that final audition, the one that really mattered came around, I was a nervous wreck. I knew who the top three choices were, and I’m not lying when I knew I was a shoe-in…it sounds cocky, but it’s true. The three they chose were myself, and my friends Ben and Brendon. WE had an awesome season going to FJM camp and meeting other drum majors and creating our salute and making our show for the season our own. All in all, a fantastic experience but then again, not the story I’m meaning to tell.
The story begins during my senior year while I still lived with my father and now, after everything is done, I can’t even remember exactly what happened. All I know is that I didn’t feel like I could live there anymore so I broke ties with him and my step mother, packed my shit, and left. Now this was nearly halfway through my senior year…yes I could have stuck it out through graduation, but I’m too headstrong and I couldn’t back out and move backwards. Everyone was so accepting of me at my mother’s, they continued to let me commute to and from work/school in the previous city until marching band was over, then I made the full transfer. Now, my sister was a sophomore in high school when I moved in as a senior and she sort of showed me the school, helped me remember who was who, etc. but I never stood a chance when it came to becoming “one” with the student body. I would always stand out and be “the girl who moved here halfway through senior year” and I was okay with that. I made some friends but I really just kept to myself outside of school and work.
I think the best part that came out of moving there was meeting my guidance counselor. She actually graduated from the school that I had just transferred from, and we even had some of the same teachers!! We immediately bonded and shared laughs about general things from where we shared experiences. On the other hand, the worst part of moving was when my two greatest mentors from my previous school shut me out and basically threw me to the side of the road like roadkill because I transferred and didn’t choose open-enrollment or just stay somewhere where I didn’t feel comfortable living. I eventually got over it, life goes on and I kept my friends from my old school, I mean, they couldn’t stop me from coming to events and supporting them.
Back to new school…graduation time eerily loomed closer and I had no idea what I was going to do. I didn’t take my ACT/SAT, I didn’t apply to any schools for the fall semester, I felt lost. I decided that in order to try and find what I wanted was to take a trip somewhere. That somewhere was New York City. (Another story for another time). Prepping for graduation was tricky because I received two caps and gowns…one from my previous school and then one for the school I actually graduated from. It was difficult dealing with the fact I wouldn’t be graduating with my best friends and instead with a bunch of acquaintances I had only known for a few months. Nonetheless, I was able to go through with everything and I even went to my previous school’s grad to support my friends and while I cried the whole drive back home, I will never regret my decision to transfer because I know I wouldn’t be who I am today if I didn’t move. *so cliche…disgusting* lol.
So, I guess there should be a point to this story so you didn’t read all of that for no reason. My takeaway would be, if you don’t feel comfortable living somewhere with people who don’t accept you or let you follow your dreams, you shouldn’t have to live there. There are always other places to stay and maybe your circumstances are different, but there’s always another option. Never compromise your dreams and your potential for what someone else thinks you should do or become. Also, people and opportunities come and go. Everything in this life is temporary. You have to make the most of it while you can!
AvGirl 